Desperation In Confusion

So I’ve been thinking alot more lately about life again[I hate growing up =)]. But lately I have been trying to find a job and I had an interview last week and I didn’t get the job. But I had applied at other places and didn’t even get an interview. But its really weird I was bummed for like 10 minutes but then my focus changed. The whole time I have been applying for jobs and stuff I have been praying to God “Lord let your will be done, Not mine”.

Well I think I may have figured out God’s will finally. It may be really obvious to other people around me but for me it hasn’t been so and I needed to find out for my self. I think right now in my point in life that I am suppose to be focusing on God and what he wants me to do. I already he know what he wants me to do, he wants me to be in the middle school. So its kinda weird it took me this long to figure out God’s will even though I knew what he wanted me to do. I had to ask God to forgive me cause I believe the reason I was looking for a job was I wanted money and I wasn’t satisfied completely with were God had me.

Now I love were God has me but I wanted something different also in my life. Well thats not what he has for me. Well I decided to spend some time in prayer tonight after I read my word and God showed me that I wasn’t happy being were I have been. I wanted money and I wanted to grow up and start a normal life but God doesn’t want me to have a normal life he’s called me to be well not normal. He also showed me that I also need to trust him. I worry about having income and stuff but God told me I just need to trust him. If I am in Him and doing what he wants I need not worry. It’s really funny how I have known this but in the moment of putting myself first I kinda forgot. After I was done praying it was amazing the since of completion I felt. I was suddenly happy and content were I am in my life. It’s really amazing how God can changed you in a heartbeat.

I have gotten to the point in my walk with God that I guess I thought was bad but I read an article from Louie Giglio last night that showed me it wasn’t. Basically I wasn’t feeling God in my walk with him like I didn’t know what he was doing at this time. But Louie started to say that Mother Teresa in her last time was feeling the same way. She didn’t know were God had her or what He was doing in her life but she kept serving and doing what God had already called her to do and then she found out what God had.

I was having trouble with this until I read this article and God told me the answer. We all go thru times like this in our lives, Now we can get down about it and quit doing anything tell we find God or we can just stop going after God all together. But that isn’t the answer. The answer is desperation. God wants us to be utterly desperate for Him and in these times of not knowing him is when we need a heart of desperation and perseverance. We go thru these times and thru desperation we don’t just find out what God has been doing but we grow in our walk with God and our desperation with him.

Another thing to do when you feel this way is pray to God and ask him to reveal to you an area in your life that you need to work on. You know what He did with me. I don’t know if I was really happy at first with the answer but I am now cause I now cause He showed me why I needed to work on it.

God told me I need to work on prayer. He said you you can pray but I don’t want that I want desperation. I want your heart crying out in desperation in your prayers. It hurt at first to hear that but then I was comfortable with it cause God reassured me that he was going to help me and that it’s just going to make my stronger.

And the second thing he showed me was I really need to watch my put downs. I tend to be really harsh with it. So I’m going to start working on it and not using putting downs but I want to speak life. I want to start encouraging and uplifting. I know I love being uplifted and instead of putting down I am going to uplift.

Well I guess you know were my head has been this weekend now. So if you have any questions feel free to comment or contact me, Also feel free to discuss this post in the comments.

Tell next time,
Much Love ~ Jeremy Newton